Updated: Jun 30
Genesis ch 3 vs 16 "To the woman he said, 'I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you".
Okay, so flag on the play....while I did get fired for unruly behavior, to be pedantic and according to a one Mr. Maurice Hickman (i.e. Alistair Logistics Head of Group Operations when I was being ousted), the call for my dismissal came from a one Mr. John Luther (i.e. my Adam when I was being ousted and shown in picture below).
On WhatsApp, I'd sent Adam some flirtatious texts (the usual 'would you like to bump bellies with me some time?' and what not), completely disregarding the fact that he was my boss. In turn, he didn't hesitate to point out the indecency of my speech and asked that I get fired; which completely threw me for a loop. Here I was publicly confessing how I'd come to know desire because of this man (and I say this in earnest, with all seriousness), yet he found me indecent all along? How did I miss his indifference? I could have sworn this man liked me back! Something of a goody two shoes, I always make sure to dot my i's and cross my t's, and this is the first time I've been expelled from an institution on an immoral ground such as hitting on a boy; I am embarrassed just admitting/ writing this. To top it all off, I am having a hard time letting Adam go. I'm back home now and can't help but look out for any sign of him; crazy, right? or perhaps I simply miss him. I'm chasing down little birds and doves when I see them, I'm seeing peculiar alignments of stars in the night and jets flying over me in the day; also, I found myself inexplicably melting in the warmth of a strange man I sat next to on the bus someday this week. Did I mention Lusaka is cold? like chills down your spine cold!! Also, there appears to have been some new yet unusual infrastructure built while I was away (see below picture of latest bridge near the University I hope to attend in July).
Please bear with me If this article is muddled; that's because I am confused. Or perhaps I'm love sick and need medication. Sometimes I'm afraid the sun won't rise and wish Adam would give me closure in the form of a text, or a call to let me know the world has not ended now that he's left me behind; that it's okay to move on with my life. Maybe I can meet a boy, a new friend, when school starts in July. If any of my readers can comprehend the contents of this post and have a solution to my heartache/ set back, please feel free to help.
In the meantime, I have to soldier on and am working at getting this website patented/ registered with authorities, completing the lengthy application process for my Masters program and getting acquainted with city life (which is pretty expensive by the way; food and groceries cost twice as much as they did a year ago; and don't get me started on the rent in Lusaka; makes staying with mom look real practical for a 29 year old spiritual virgin).