Updated: Jun 29
In this life I've been blessed to know not one, but multiple fathers; one of whom we ALL have in common, GOD. Below is my morning note to him for all my readers to savor.
"He pleased GOD, and was beloved of him: so that living among sinners he was translated. Yea, speedily was he taken away, lest that wickedness should alter his understanding, or deceit beguile his soul. For the bewitching of naughtiness doth obscure things that are honest; and the wandering of concupiscence (lust) doth undermine the simple mind"....The Wisdom of Solomon.
Creator of heaven and earth, GOD of righteousness and wisdom, GOD of Adam, Abraham, Israel and my forefathers. May YOUR will be done and the seed of righteousness planted in the hearts of all men. Have mercy upon my soul and remember not my transgressings against me.
This holy day I present before you a sinful woman; a desirous woman. The world I live in would certainly attest that pursuing one's desires is sinful; does not your word go so far as to admonish that the human heart is desirous and treacherous above all else? Well, In the last 10 months.....I have betrayed a man who'd cared for me for 7 years, to pursue a new one I'd come to desire in the space of 2 weeks; I came to verbal blows with a man and women in order to be with this new man; my labors/ or rather job (which were once uninhibited and glorious) came to ruin as a consequence; and in my pursuit to be with this man, I was cast out of my new home and forced to start another. I have known desire Abba father, and it has brought me nothing but destruction.
In the garden of Eden, YOU fashioned man and a woman in his likeness, giving them dominion over all creations, with the exception that they not partake of one fruit; the fruit of good and evil. But the woman, beguiled by the serpent, desired this fruit, entreated man to partake of it, and naughtiness was born to a once innocent seed (i.e. mankind). Upon their fall from glory, YOU cursed the woman saying, her desire shall be for her husband. So YOU can understand why and when I found a man I desired, I thought surely YOUR word had been manifested in me. I was Eve and he Adam.
I have not lain with the man I desire, but have propositioned him on many occasions, and stand accused this day of harassment. Not one to lie, or shy away from responsibility, I come before YOU, Abba Father, truly asking that YOU deliver me from my desires, lest I pull more destruction upon myself. I don't want to be lustful, but want to serve YOU, in your kingdom and be preserved. Do not forsake me from among YOUR children and accept this prayer.